On Saturday, a powerful priestess friend that recently moved here from Colorado and I held a circle called "Healing the Motherwound and Releasing the Patriarchy." It was gooooood stuff.
During the circle, we spoke about the Motherwound (the body of pain and limitation that is activated in a woman due to the passing down of unconscious beliefs, emotions, memories established from patriarchal rules. It is remaining 'small' so that we do not risk losing the love of our mothers or others) and hand in hand with that came talk of empowering our wombs and about the empowered masculine. This has been a lot on my mind since Saturday.
The Empowered Masculine... what is that?
Let me start by explaining what it is NOT.
Somewhereabouts 2000 B.C, the penis became THE sacred object of worship. Then enter all the repercussions of penis worship and vagina subjugation. The problem here was that there was not a balance of power. Men and women did not take on their powerful roles to work together. What happened was that unconscious masculine forces overthrew and destroyed everything that was nurturing and had anything to do with softness and the womb and declared ownership and dominion of everything under the sun. Many women took to the underground to practice shamanism, herbalism, midwifery, divination, and other practices that had been revered and sacred until then.
What came of this swift and complete shift of power? War, pestilence, death, famine, things like the Inquisition, the witch hunts, and the massive, greedy usurping of our Earth Mother's vital resources. Why do we blame the unconscious masculine energy on this? Because this happened at the hands of unconscious males- religious leaders, politicians, businessmen- who mentally and physically raped and manipulated every system and institution until it was all under their control. Think about it... what does a forceful phallus do? It enters without invitation. Without a welcoming wetness and warmth, it takes without asking and leaves people and places in ruins.
At the present day, we live in an very comfortably established patriarchy. If you disagree with that statement, let me challenge you with a few things:
- only this year is there even a possibility of the first woman president
- the over-sexualization of women in the media
- the realms of children and homemaking belong to women
- women still make .75 to every dollar men make in the workplace
- women are often told "you can't have your cake and eat it too" as far as families and careers and the world proves it by not offering support for women who strive for both yet men are told they can "have it all!"and are very supported in doing so.
- shamanism, herbalism, and other healing arts are labeled "whackadoodle" (I literally JUST saw this on a mommy blog posted two days ago) and "fringe"
- men who show sensitivity, emotional awareness, and a deep regard for women are labeled "weak" and "girly men"
- men who are employed in any career that has been labeled "a woman's job" is seen as a "pansy" or weak
- unspoken, established "rules" for what a woman is supposed to look like and how she is supposed to act
Still think the patriarchy doesn't exist?
Remember that line in "As Good As It Gets" where the airhead receptionist at the publishing house (a woman of course), asks Jack Nicholson how he writes women so well and he responds: "I think of a man, then I take away reason and accountability."
And none of this is about feminism. I consider myself a feminist but only insofar as I define feminism: equality for everyone, male, female, and everyone in between and beyond. So, this isn't about wanting to bring men down or male-bashing. This is about simply bringing awareness to how women's gifts need to be resurrected and how unconscious men need to work their stuff out. This will create a balance that would change the face of the world.
Ever hear that saying about how fish don't know they're in water? This explains that the effect of something does not necessarily mean you have an awareness of its existence. Believe me, the patriarchy is affecting the entire world very much. The oceans, the environment, the world's banks, the housing market, health care systems, the price of your groceries, the way you cut your hair, the shade of your lipstick, your bad back. It has permeated all.
So, what does the empowered masculine look like?
An empowered man is not afraid to let women be powerful. They do things to empower women and their wombs. They support them so that their gifts may flourish. A great example of an empowered/awakened male action and thought is my beloved who has often made me Nettle tea when my period is kicking my butt. Why is this empowering and awakened? Because he knows that Nettle herb remineralizes women during their period because we lose lots of minerals in this time. And because he's not afraid to acknowledge my period and my emotions during that time. And because he's not afraid to say the word "period". And he doesn't whisper or laugh when he says it. He also knows my life is mine to live it as I see fit. He trusts my decisions. He looks to me for advice. Sometimes he draws on my strength when he is tired or low, as I do with him. We parent in equal amounts, as we do almost everything else. And he knows and is even friends with a few of my exes (whoa, right. the acknowledgement that I was not a chaste virgin before him is a big one, especially in males from the Latin culture). He knows God did not assign me to him. He does not in any way own me. And he knows that I am free. All of these things support women in their rise to reclaim their rightful place. May seem simple to some, but if you look at most of the world, it's damn near revolutionary.
An empowered male isn't afraid to see the world change because they know the Earth is bleeding. They are excited to share their power with women and know that together, amazing things can and do happen. They want to be in equal power with their consorts (male or female) and they want to see clean oceans, they want clean air and clean food, healthy Earthly inhabitants, freedom and respect for all living beings, to live by the constant guidance of integrity, to live their lives being fully masculine in whatever way they define that for themselves, and for Truth to always be spoken.
An empowered male is a HERO. Not a likely hero who beats villains and saves damsels in distress (for crying out loud). But a true hero, as the writer and mythologist Joseph Campbell defines a hero:
“A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself.”
And they don't need silly euphemisms like vag, vajayjay, bajingo, hooha, peepee, or downthere because they can say VAGINA.
Tell me... do you know anyone like this? Tell us about him!
And if you do know one or some, give them mad love and always, always keep them close!