Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More than Peers by Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D. and Gabor Mate M.D.

I started reading this book with no idea what to expect. i just knew the title spoke to me and that until my children become mature adults I do hope to keep them close and in our home doing family things together, enjoying fun times, and growing together.

The book goes into what is called being “peer oriented” and it explains that peer orientation comes when children become disconnected from their parents and replace them as models with other children. Children obviously cannot guide other children as they do not have the same unconditional love and regard a parent would for their child.

As I was reading, I was remembering my upbringing which, although rather happy and safe, was lacking in adult connections at key moments. Because of this I remember being a nightmare of a teenager- not so much in the early but in the late teens, when the reigns became looser. I didn’t feel like a full blown adult until I reached the end of my twenties. After reading the book, I fully understood what I long suspected: that the teenage years for every child doesn’t always have to be hell on wheels for parents. As long as the parent/child relationship is nurtured and children have adults as true caregivers, purveyors of wisdom, and examples of maturity a healthy, close relationship can be maintained throughout their whole lives.

The truth is, with technology and this fast-paced, digital, disconnected world we all live in, it is harder to get our children’s attention. But as long as we make the effort, we can hold on to our children.

Click on the image below to learn more about the book: