I have a confession to make. I judged myself for glazing ceramic art because Carrie told Charlotte once in an episode of Sex and the City that if she saw her in one of those bowl glazing places she'd "just keep walkin'."
It's the stupidest thing, I know... because why would anyone even remember what a character on a television show said much less judge themselves by those insignificant words. I mean, I was an avid SATC fan and watched every episode but even still I realized they were all kind of sad little creatures fluttering about New York city. But I still listened to what they had to say because they had their pulse on what society expects of women and oddly enough I think a part of me still did as well up until recently.
In that episode, Charlotte tells the girls she's quitting her job to start trying for a baby and to be a docent at the Met. This would give her time to do things she's always wanted to like be on the board of some charity organization or glaze bowls at those cute artsy places like Color Me Mine. Carrie poo pooed it immediately. I don't know why but that always stayed with me. Maybe because I've always liked Color Me Mine. And also because I knew that deep inside no matter what I was doing, I would drop whatever and love to stay at home waiting for baby and volunteer somewhere and glaze bowls (which is what I did end up doing). Carrie was this generation's girl next door and with those words she was telling me she wouldn't be seen with me. And everyone wanted to be "a Carrie" (remember those t-shirts?) So I felt out of it for not wanting that life and for not caring about designer shoes and clothes and "be seen" hotspots anymore. Now, I just want to stay home, spend time with my family and sometimes be crafty.
Recently, I started making hair bows for my daughter. Partly because I knew I could do better than the ones I had bought her so far which have either broken fairly quickly or were not really as cute as I wanted them to be. I thought that about her clothes too, but I don't know how to sew yet so I went for the hair bows which were immediately doable. They came out so good that I started making more and now I am selling them. Nothing official yet (no website or stores yet) but I do take the displays with me and have sold some of them (I'll post some up soon).
There was one afternoon that I had my apron on with my glue gun in hand that I stopped what I was doing and heard Carrie's recorded words play in my head. Suddenly I felt oddly uncomfortable with myself. I quickly forgot about it and kept on with my day. Then, it happened again when I went to buy supplies at Michael's when on the way to the ribbon section, I stopped by a do-it-yourself wooden birdhouse and thought how much I'd love to paint and hang one of those on my balcony. I shuddered at the thought that maybe I HAD become some sort of cliche.
It happened again today. Glue gun in hand, baby on the rug playing with her toys, and the phone on one ear calling for information on the sewing classes near my house. I thought "My God, all I need is Ricky Ricardo and a rolling pin." And then I got angry.
What IS wrong with doing what feels right as a woman? Surely, that won't be the same for everyone so why the judgments all around? If you're too career-oriented you're probably being told you need to spend more time at home. If you are a stay at home mom you're probably being told to "find something that is for YOU." Sometimes it feels as if there is no winning. Especially when a fabulous cable tv show is out there telling you that women should be overly driven, promiscuous, label whores and frivolous with money and well, that's pretty much it.
So, shove it Carrie Bradshaw. I'm not listening to your voice in my head anymore. I like to spend afternoons glazing bowls.
And I happen to LOVE clogs and I use my oven to bake, not for storage.
And although we do have in common a shared love of trying on wedding dresses, I don't break out into a severe rash due to fear of commitment. I found my Aidan and actually married him- without having to cheat on him with my tired, married ex-boyfriend.