Yesterday's Oprah finale rocked my world.
I've never been a big Oprah fan. If I watched a handful of entire episodes in the last 25 years, that would be too many. One of the last full episodes I did watch was a few weeks ago when she invited onto her stage a former Hollywood movie director who gave "the life" up for a much more modest and conscious one. I was impressed that she even wanted to cover such a topic, what with her being the wealthiest woman in the world. I've always heard people admired her and that she has helped a lot of people personally and through organizations, but I always dismissed it as self-indulgent and full of ego. I wasn't interested in her book club or joining the millions of worshipers and adorers. I dismissed her and everything that had to do with her as "not for me".
Yesterday, while at my mom's house learning to crochet (or better said, TRYING to learn to crochet- it's like the Rubik's cube of crafts!), she tuned in to watch what I then found out was Oprah's last show after a 25 year run. Admittedly, I thought "Finally!" and expected some gaudy star-studded show where everyone would blow hot air up her skirt and tell her how amazing she is. Blech.
The show began. Oprah was standing alone on her stage and thanked all the people that had worked for her all those many years. SHE thanked THEM. She thanked her audience for love. She thanked God. And when I really listened in, I realized I was hearing a sincere, humble, heart-centered human being thanking her Creator for grace and for life. She reminded her viewers that we are all energy and that we are all responsible for the energy that we put forth into the world. And that more than anything else, she wanted everyone to take with them that we are all responsible for our lives. For all of it. "It doesn't matter what your momma did or what your sister said to you or what your poppa didn't do, you have the power to manifest anything you want to in your life and you are responsible for ALL of it."
I was mesmerized. I was touched.
I was crying.
Hahahaha. She had done it. Oprah had made me cry.
She began to wrap up the show with some words about the beautiful phrase, "Be still and know that I am God" and then closed with these final words: "Glory be to God."
I was absolutely floored.
And still crying.
She had taken everything that had been stewing in my heart and put it out there, for everyone to share. The last person I had expected to connect with on that level was Oprah. Self-Indulgent, celebrity hoarding, cheesy beyond cheese Oprah. So I thought, anyway.
I should have ordered my crow sandwich with a large side of "D'oh!"
It was perfect that she made a fan out of me on her last episode. It made me realize, like so many times in these past few months, that I have been wrong all along about yet another thing or person. And yesterday because of her and a few other experiences in meditation and in my daily life, I experienced the truth of what being responsible for it all really means.
For me in particular, being responsible is pivotal at this moment. The most important thing it has brought me is the ultimate wisdom of that ever-elusive adage: "When you point a finger, three are pointing back at you." I absolutely know what this means. It means judgments are moot. They are only valuable if you apply them to yourself. In my case, my judgmental nature is currently being smashed to pieces. It is not only taking the fun out of having "opinions" (what a kind euphemism), but it is showing me that all my thoughts and words are actually about ME. Things I notice about others are always things I have yet to face, embrace or resolve about myself. Always. No exceptions (see Debbie Ford's "Dark Side of the Light Chasers" and Michael Brown's "The Presence Process"). Since I was very young I have known this to be true. I know that my life is my movie where I am the heroine (or at the very least the lead character) and all other actors are playing along and reflecting my movie back to me. I always knew this but still managed to ignore it and now I have reached the point of no return. No more floating down da Nile (denial)!
In truth, "She is cold and uncaring" turns into, "I am cold and uncaring."
"He is mean and unforgiving" means "I am mean and unforgiving."
"She is clueless and annoying!" means "I am clueless and annoying."
"He is a criminal and unworthy of forgiveness" means I think there is a part of me that is criminal and unworthy of forgiveness. It doesn't mean I have necessarily ever committed a crime but it does mean there is a part of me that under certain circumstances could commit a serious one and feel unworthy of forgiveness. And it means that I have not embraced and faced that part of me yet, since I am projecting it outward and now owning it.
Through grace and love we realize, "She is so beautiful" becomes "I am so beautiful."
"He is so brilliant" means "I am so brilliant."
"They are worthy of success" means "I am worthy of success."
"She is divine and creative" means "I am divine and creative."
"She is love" means "I am love."
We are all connected. We are all united. For better or for worse, that is an ultimate truth here in our world. We are all one another. There is no sense in hate or war or judgment because we are actually only playing that out in our own inner landscapes. Our own soul is the one affected by anything we put out there- light or dark. That is the truth behind the Book of Revelations. The revelations there are only metaphorical. The "plague of locusts" just means that whatever you have not integrated and taken care of within will multiply to epic proportions within you and consume you to pay attention. What maybe was a whisper once nudging at your awareness becomes a shrieking loud yell for your undivided attention. And at that point there will be nothing left to do but face it once and for all. I'm not Catholic, Christian, Buddhist, Hindu or any religion at all, but this is what I feel in my heart. The Book of Revelations about the "End of Days" is about the end of days as we know them. In essence, the book is really the entire Bible and every holy scripture ever written. Every word, every moment has been revealing the universe to us if only we would pay attention. And in every moment, all there really is is love. Not time, not space, not thought or matter, density or gravity. Just love.