willow's wedding

Wet homeless cat, part deux.

What a weekend! It started with a big whopping revelation.  Remember how before you were a parent you would see parents and ask yourself WHY they plan everything around their kids?  I would think to myself, "just put the baby in the car and she'll deal with it and if she doesn't and cries then you'll deal with it."  Wrong-o. I get it now and I accommodate my little one as much as I possibly can so now I feel like I'm driving Miss Daisy.  We go if she says we can go.  She hasn't been enjoying the car lately too much so it's been a logistical hoop jump.  My husband and I were laughing about this as we planned an efficient trip to find a white outfit for him for our friends' wedding the next day.  "Okay, before she gets hungry we have about... errr... half an hour tops...  so, you run upstairs to Nordstroms and I'll scour the Marshall's and we'll see what we find.  If we don't find anything we can always pass by Ross after our 3 o'clock appointment when she's fed and happy because that's a short ride home.  Ready.... go!"

A few years ago when I lived in New York, I remember a day when I felt like a wet homeless cat.  I was homesick and it was a cold and rainy day.  I had a long commute to work, the subway station by my house wasn't working and I couldn't get a cab.  I got to work very late, very cold, very wet, and very disgruntled.  My day at work was long and very not fun and I was so ready to get home.  I walked down the stairs to the station and since it was so cold outside I was wrapped up from head to toe so I started to sweat.  So, close up the umbrella, remove the earphones, remove the hat, the earmuffs, the scarf, the long jacket and the top layer of sweater.  Only to do it all again when I got to my stop to walk a gajillion miles to my apartment.  I lost it that day and wondered why I ever moved there.  I felt lost, alone, wet, annoyed.  Much like I imagined a homeless feline would.  As I walked the raindrops mixed with teardrops down my face.  When I take the baby out and find a parking space close to wherever I'm going, take the stroller out, grab her diaper bag, pack her toy in it, take her out, and put her in the stroller, I always remember wet homeless cat day.  So I laughed today when I saw an article in Mothering magazine saying that "Baby Brain doesn't scientifically hold up".  Fine.  Maybe there's no science to back it up.  But try juggling everything I just mentioned, and the worry and the love and the hormones and whatever else each individual new mom deals with.  You'd forget a few things too!

We finally found my hubs an outfit without upsetting our little one too much and made it to the wedding only 20 minutes late.  What a beautiful BEAUTIFUL event!  All the guests were dressed in white.   Even our little one, which was the cause of so much commotion.  People I've never seen before were coming up to me even when I was away from my baby to tell me "your baby is so gorgeous!"  And that night I finally experienced what I have heard so many parents complain about- "nobody talks to me about anything but kids anymore now that I am a parent- theirs or mine."  Of course a beautiful new baby is a great topic of conversation and something of note but past that, there was nothing else.  If it wasn't for my single friend from Chicago that was visiting and catching up and a fellow yoga teacher friend who asked me if I was teaching again yet, I would have been talking about sleepless nights, breastfeeding and diapers all night.  And really, I was okay with it except for the really bad unsolicited advice.  That tends to bug me.  And while we're on the topic of what bugs me, earlier in the day when I was getting my pedi done, some lady came over to me and said "your baby is teething."  So I smile and say, "I know, she drools a lot so I keep a bib on her all day." To which she responds with a sigh as she looks at my little one with sad eyes and says, "God, that must hurt like a bitch.  Oh.  And all the other things you're going to experience in life that hurt even worse...." and walks away.  What is UP with that?  Yes, of course life is good and bad, easy and hard, yadda and yadda, but is that really necessary?  These are the moments that I say to myself, "Just breathe and keep going, momma."

I did, however, have such a wonderfully gratifying parenting moment waiting in line for the buffet at the wedding.  A lovely older couple turned around to ask me how old my little one was and we began to talk about parenthood.  They smiled and nodded in agreement at everything I said.  And they congratulated me on all of it- the co-sleeping, the breastfeeding, the attachment parenting, the not letting the baby cry, and everything else that was brought up in our conversation.  The man summed it all up in the best way I've heard it so far.  He said, "what other time in your life are you going to be given everything you want and need in such a loving way?"  Open and shut case right there, if you ask me.