growing baby

Changes.

There have been so many changes in my life, in addition to actually giving birth to my little one.  One of the biggest was giving up my "vegetarian" label.  When I became pregnant my body started needing something else besides veggies and soy (ick).  One day before I knew I was pregnant but when my hormones had already started to flare, I craved a turkey sandwich so much that as tired as I was, I got in the car, drove to the Publix deli and asked for a foot-long turkey sub on wheat (ack).  It was so good, though.  I thought it was just a one time fluke but the cravings for turkey sandwiches were very strong.  So much so that one day I wrote my hubbie a really long email while in tears about my new turkey cravings.  He was a staunch vegan at that point too and his response surprised me:  "So, eat turkey."  I was so emotional about it so I wondered "what in the heck is wrong with me?"  Fast forward to two days later when after two minutes of waiting and two lines on a pee stick, John and I were hugging and laughing as we had just learned we were pregnant.  The whole turkey e-mail made sense when I found out I was pregnant.  I mean, after 7 or so years of being vegetarian I knew there would be some guilt involved, but my reaction clued me in to something else being up besides food guilt. Anyhoo, I am no longer vegan or vegetarian or anything having to do with an "ism" when it comes to food.  Some days I eat no animal products, some days I eat yummy fresh eggs and amazing raw cheeses and yogurt from the farm we order from in Pennsylvania.  It took a bit to get used to but my body takes so well to it and I feel great.  My take on the whole food thing is as simple as this:  do everything (eat, poop, sleep, love, walk, breathe, run, cook, laugh, sing, doodle, whatever) with a heart full of gratitude.  I could go on and on about food.  No really, I can.  My hubs is a health educator and a chef.  After his time on our computer doing research he usually leaves web pages up and I always end up reading them.  I also get to hear podcasts, read books around the house, and hear his conversations with other peeps about stuff.  The truth is, food isn't as easy as it used to be.  Today I read an article about how the seafood industry in the Gulf and south Florida is basically going kaput because of the oil spill.  So sad.  And so weird that it's not going to be as easy as going to grab some sushi at your fave sushi restaurant.  The small sea life will eat the oil and the bigger sea life eat the smaller sea life and we eat a lot of sea life and there you have it folks.  And the irradiation, the pesticides, the contamination, the agave myth that just cracked, factory farming (oock), the introduction of the microwave, the soy and corn problem, high fructose corn syrup...  I could write an entire book about all of this.  So, I'll just repeat my stance on food:  eat with a heart full of gratitude (oh, and don't eat a bite of anything processed or that is a product of factory farming).  Like the Native Americans.  They weren't vegans but ceremoniously gave thanks for every kill and every meal and they were great sustainers of the land.

Another big change has been my body.  Thankfully, breastfeeding brought me back to my pre-pregnancy weight after just a couple of months.  But there are these sensations in my body that I have never felt before.  Knee pain, back pain, neck knots, bumps, thumps, loss of balance, muscle and joint kinks.  I am so grateful that other moms have shared their body weirdness with me because I was starting to get paranoid that it was just me.  I am a very healthy person- always have been.  So, this adjusting to a post-partum body is new to me.  It's annoying more than anything.  Some days, I long for my super fit, high-energy,  sometimes-do-yoga-twice-a-day me.

The most amazing changes are actually happening to my daughter.  Big and small changes. One day her poop is the desired "mustard yellow" and the next day it has a greenish tinge which has me burying my face in her poopy diapers for any weird smells or odd textures.  She spits up so much more and drools constantly so her cute little baby clothes are always covered by oversized bibs now.  She has always been vocal, but the way she communicates now I feel as if any day now her first word is going to come bursting out of her mouth.  And she's so smart I suspect her first word just might be "antidisestablishmentarianism".  She can hold her head up so high and firmly now.  She is very friendly to new people.  She nurses like a champ now-  in and out in waaaaaaaay under 45 minutes (yes, that is how long she used to nurse- and just about every hour too).  Her sleeping schedule changed and I hear that change is normal and that it could very well change again and again.  The last of the NB tees were put away yesterday.  She was getting away with fitting in to them just enough to sleep in them, but not anymore.  And she's bigger, yummier, and pudgier every day.

I've already mentioned the changes in my level of desire around anything to do with sex.  I shuddered even just typing the word!  I just appreciate sleep now.  And comfort.  My favorite thing to wear are my yoga pants and a tank top.  I can't stand bras anymore and I can't imagine I ever will again.  People will just have to deal with my nipples.  I LOVE my new five fingers even though they are these funny looking shoes.  But they have a philosophy and a story and I love that.  :)  My hair is longer than it has ever been and frizzier than I have ever let it be.  But I don't use hair products besides some Monoi oil anymore really- just look at those ingredients!  Even the stuff at Whole Foods isn't great (and don't get me started about Whole Foods.  Whole Foods is a lie.  Sugar bomb "organic" pop tarts are STILL sugar bomb pop tarts!  Oops, I said I wouldn't talk about food anymore...)  My nipples have changed- they look like two wrinkly raisins.  And my butt.  My poor used-to-be-little-perky-cute-but-now- completely-nonexistent butt.  That's all I have to say about that.

And the biggest change of all:  In a year or so, someone is going to call ME "mom".

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