Today I read something in a book that I found so interesting. It said that when we have feelings, physical sensations or emotions- any experience at all- our whole self responds and changes as our electromagnetic system and our RNA tells our DNA about what just happened. The messages travel through our energy systems which communicate infinitely.(*) So basically our DNA is always talking to the universe. Think about the implications of that! So while my DNA has known for three years that I became a mother, my mind had not yet received the memo fully. There were still unsettling feelings about it and some quietly constant unrest. Yesterday after finishing a deeply moving book, the resistances- big and small- came out of their caves to make themselves known. So I chanted over and over, "I am a mother" silently while taking deep breaths. Every time a resistance came up, I repeated it. "I am a mother." Over and over and over until each resistance had been met, acknowledged, understood and released. Surely, I will huff and puff next time I have to walk out of the house with a 30 lb diaper bag and clothes stained with milk and markers, but I suspect that and all the other resistances no longer have the hold they had on me. I am a mother and I always will be and this is no longer a condition or something to resolve or make sense of. "Mother" is who I am now. Whatever else I am, I am also always a mother. And so, I have fully opened my heart to meet my children where they are and will always hold their hand to wherever they are going. I look them in the eyes more and am more honest with my words and actions. I can love more and nurture more. I have more compassion and sensitivity for the limits of their respective ages and more wonder for the magic of their pristine joy and their precious innocence.
My mother genes have been fully activated.
(* "The Children of Now" by Meg Blackburn-Losey)