The peculiarities of pre- and post-natal motherhood.

The other day I was chatting in my daughter's room with my friend Amber while our girls played together and I was telling her about my day.  In the middle of my sentence I stuttered for a fraction of a nano-second (I don't even know if she noticed) because in my mind I had started to wonder if what I was saying had actually happened that day or if it had happened the day before.  I was racking my brain while I was still talking and for the life of me I could not remember if what I was saying had actually happened that day.  And then I got all nervous and paranoid that she was noticing I was being weird because I had kind of lost my own attention WHILE I WAS TALKING so I got even more paranoid and weird.  Not that it would really make a difference if it had even happened that day or not.  But still, I got weird about being weird that that made me get even weirder. Right now, I have the memory of a fruit fly.  Oddly enough though, I can remember the names of every student in my first grade class but nothing that happened 10 minutes ago, yesterday or last week.  I don't retain a thing.  I also forget basic words like "shoe" or "paper clip."  I'll be like, "What's that word? You know... things that go on your feet!"  Maybe it's the post-natal lack of sleep, maybe it's the pre-natal processes going on in my body, I really don't know.  I don't work but if I did, I wonder how I would stay employable, especially during pregnancy.  It's at its worst then for some reason.  It's one of those things other mothers forget to tell you happens starting the moment you get pregnant.  This one I understand.   I guess they just don't remember to tell you that you won't remember anything anymore.

Another funny- and sometimes slightly frustrating- thing that occurs when you become a mother is acquiring major butterfingers.  I have already broken two teacups, three dishes and spilled endless amounts of water inside my purse and elsewhere.    Also, I think it's funny to have conversations between moms that span days (via phone, text or email) because each mom averages one call/text/email per day to respond to the last call/text/email.  It goes something like this:

4/11:  Did you hear that Shema resigned?

4/12: Yes and I'm so broken up about it.

4/13: Where do we take our children to music class now?

4/14: I don't know.

4/15: If I hear anything I'll let you know.

4/16:  Thanks!  Love you! Bye!

Although the conversation above will be filled with typos and missing letters because you're either at the grocery store on your smartphone trying to get a quick response in, on your laptop trying to get some words in while your child tries to watch some videos and simultaneously smacks the keyboard, returning emails at 10pm while you're batting your eyes trying to stay awake, or trying to return a quick text at a stop sign or red light.

The worst one so far I think has been the one that everyone still keeps under wraps but that I am going to just put out there in case any mom-to-be is reading.  After your first born, you could very possibly almost pee or actually pee every time you sneeze.  There are ways around this:  kegels, panty liners, yoga.  Just know that the possibility is there.

Is there anything I forgot, mommas?