Today during bath time, our little one started loving water again. She put her face in the stream and laughed heartily. She loved it and we loved her for loving it because for a long time now she has yelled and cried before, during and a bit after her baths. Today she had a ball again. My husband said something to the effect of , "Hooray baby! You're getting over the bath hump; you're getting over the sleep hump. We're making progress!" Immediately I thought how wrong it was to call them "humps" because of the negative connotation of the word. I think about "Wednesday- hump day" and how people rush through the days and weeks to be off from work for a couple of days. It has taken me quite some time and acceptance to embrace life at her pace and accept my new role as mother with patience and love. It only happened when I stopped fighting it and just surrendered into it. Fighting it or trying to rush through provided no help, obviously (in hindsight). So the idea of seeing steps and stages as humps seemed unappealing. As I was about to express my distaste of his word choice I thought about it again and realized he was right...
What are humps? Small bumps. Small mountains, if you will. As you approach a mountain you are still level with the earth and then you begin an ascent to a very high and sometimes intense peak. Then the descent begins and you are back on the leveled ground. This is it. These are her stages. This is our life. This is all our lives. You can strap on your shoes and prepare for the challenges of the uphill climb or you can struggle all the way up and also probably all the way down and even keep complaining back on the ground. I don't want to rush through anything with her anymore. She's the very reason I climb the mountain in the first place. I want to have a tremendous love fest at every possible precious moment with her. I no longer wish for anything to be over as quickly and as effortlessly as possible. I just want her to be where she is and I want to be there with her. Thankfully, I accept more and more every day and I love her more and more everyday and in turn I love myself more as a mother, as a woman, as a sustainer of life and as a creative force through which the Goddess expresses herself infinitely.
Happy Mother's Day to all of you who nurture and sustain life!