My hunny and I had a date night planned to see Chris Cornell perform a badass acoustic set... Ticketmaster called me hours before the concert to tell me it was postponed.
I was extremely bummed because I had been looking forward to it since we clicked "Buy Tickets" and pretty much counting down to today (although I have to say not TOO bummed b/c STING is coming up next week and if you know me at all you know I am completely bursting with fruit flavor about that!)
But... I digress. The reason I was more bummed out than usual is because I needed something fun, exciting and very different. I have felt like such a lactating cow the last couple of weeks! Is it wrong to wish your husband had breasts full of milk to relieve you sometimes?
I will admit to something: I stopped listening to my own advice to not listen to other moms and books who have little to nothing in common with you. And then I started comparing what I was doing to what they were doing and I got very frustrated and depressed. There is very little in the conventional world about breastfeeding a toddler. I will tell you what there is though... dirty looks, shocked gasps, fifty gajillion questions about when you are going to stop breastfeeding and confusion about the what and why of it. Luckily, my community of moms- NOT conventional at all- came to the rescue as always and reminded me that what I was doing was normal. Just in time because I was really feeling like I was doing something wrong.
A momma friend sent me this blog entry written in June by Jessica at The Leaky Boob. Everything about this post made me so ecstatically happy. As always, it is GOLD to know that someone else out there is going through what you are experiencing. And what am I experiencing?...
Toddler breastfeeding including- but not limited to- acrobatic nursing, nipple pulling, constant boob switching (even at night), lip squeezing, neck scratching, nipple pinching, eye poking, abdomen kicking, cheek pulling, elbow skin scratching, loud requests for my boobs, and 24 hours of constant nursing. Aaaaaarrrgh!
But- and thankfully with motherhood there are always "but's" that make everything great- there is also deep eye gazing, gentle cooing, soft boob caresses, smiles, peaceful napping, major nutrition being shared, back-of-the-arm caresses, warm cuddles, and countless other non-verbal communications of love and tenderness.
It's so so hard sometimes. We got a little break anyways and went to the movies. I missed her so much that when I saw her I didn't try to dodge the nursing and was more than happy to nurse her to sleep. And what do you know?... she barely wanted it and fell asleep easy peasy. Cafe Momma closed up shop early tonight.